This weekend...

posted by Kandi

I'm going to start this blog with a disclaimer. I am going to share parts of what happened and some of it is not very nice to say. This is something that is happening in my hubby's family and it has affected our family so much that we/he felt something had to be done.

Here is the story. My father in law is cheating on my mother in law. It has been going on for about 3 years and MIL finally got tired of dealing with it. This week FIL is on vaction with his mistress. We know where he went and Chuck wanted to go and confront his dad. A brave thing to do in my book. Here is how it went down....

We drove about 4 or so hours to the lake resort and luckily I have an relative that lives nearby. We got there about 8 in the evening and drove to the resort to verify that his dad was there...he was. Then we went back to my relatives house to stay overnight. We got up bright and early to head back over to the resort.

We sat in our van for about 3 hours doing survelience. We took our video camera and digital camera to make sure what we thought was happening truly was. I was very nervous and Chuck was sick to his stomach he was so scared. When we first got there, no one was awake, so we chose an out of the way spot to park the van and still be inconspicuous. About 30 minutes into our wait, the curtains opened and out walked his dad followed by the other woman. We knew it was her because we have seen pictures of her and scoped out her profile on Facebook. Gotta love Facebook!! Anyway, after watching what was going on for about 2 hours or so, Chuck finally worked up a huge amount of courage and walked up to his dad. The scene played out like this:

Dad: "what are you doing here?"
Chuck: "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Then, Chuck turned to the other woman, stuck out his hand and said "hi, I'm Chuck, this is my married father...who the hell are you?". At this point the woman ran into the cabin and shut herself into the bedroom and locked the door.

Chuck's dad proceeded to sit down and Chuck got out the piece of paper he had typed up before we left with a list of questions on it that he wanted answered. He went through them one by one and his father played a lot of blame games, never really answering anything to Chuck's satisfaction. Finally after about 3 hours of talking, yelling, crying and trying to get the answers he wanted, Chuck gave up. His dad then ask if he wanted to meet the other woman. Personally, here is where I would have inserted some rather foul remarks and told him to f___ off, but Chuck said sure. I honestly have no idea why and still don't. We met the woman, but I honestly didn't even look at her. I don't think Chuck really did either. His dad then ask if we wanted to stay and go out onto the lake with them...seriously dude? Are you freaking kidding. Luckily, it was about then Chuck came to his senses and said "no, we have to get back to the kids." Can I get a huge old Thank God for small favors inserted here please, thank you!!

Several things continue to stick out in my mind even now that we are back at home and attempting to get things back to normal.

First, his dad NEVER answered why or told us his side of the story, although he kept telling us we only knew one side. This was his spportunity to give us both sides and he ignored it, so guess what? All we have is what MIL told us so we'll take that as truth from now on.

Second, he kept repeating how he has ask for a divorce, but can't afford it. Well, if you can't afford things why in the h e double hockey sticks are you on a vacation with your mistress????? Yeah, money problems, gotcha. When Chuck and I both ask him about it he quickly changed the subject...how convienent.

Third, this man (my fil) honestly thinks his wife should just up and leave and forget she was ever married. Really, he said, "well, I've ask her to leave and she won't". Yeah, here's the issue with that one. My mil has never had to work, she raised her kids and now dotes on her grandkids. She has worked maybe a total of 5 years out of a 38 year marriage and he doesn't think she deserves anything...really? There are laws set into place for such arrogance. Chuck repeatedly mentioned this to his dad, even at one point saying, "well, there are laws for issues like this and frankly dad, they aren't going to be in your favor". While that was just a guess, I would think they aren't in his favor either.

So, we came home. Chuck's mom was at our house watching the kids for us while we did this. Unknown to fil is that mil has already seen a lawyer and knows what she is entitled to. According to the lawyer, that's half of everything...house, cars, boat, 401k, pension, retirement, IRA's...everything. In our state, once you have been married for a long length of time (35 years), you are entitled to half of all the assets. Apparently, fil thinks this is BS and wants to keep everything for himself.....

Lastly, the one BIG thing that keeps sticking out of this whole situation goes back to something Chuck and his dad talked about. When ask why he was cheating the answer was "because I havne't been happy for 10 to 12 years". Chuck's reply to that was...."well, Kandi and I has a really rough patch after the baby was born a couple of years ago and almost seperated. Even though we have since worked things out, I NEVER EVER thought of going out and finding another woman, no matter how unhappy I was".....that people, is why I love him more each day!

So, for the time being, his father is not allowed around our kids or in our home. This is just a decision we made. His dad can be really rude and a little hostile at times and we don't our kids thinking people should be able to talk to others like that.....

I hope everyone had a better weekend than we did. While the actual weekend was extremely stressful, today we feel like a huge cloud of stress that had surrounded our home is dissipating and floating away. Again, Thank God for small favors. We couldn't have done it without help from Him!!

Meet Bryan...

posted by Kandi


This is my BFF's husband Bryan. He is on Facebook. He has a VERY sarcastic sense of humor, as seen in the photo...


Andrea and I are also on Facebook. We write on each other's wall pretty regularly. Our wall posts consist mainly of "hey, did you see (insert store) has this on sale for (insert price) and with a coupon it's (insert price after coupon). Every once in a while though one of us has a blog type of question. We "try" to be discreet about it though. See, we don't want to let anyone know of this blog because we use it to vent, ramble and say things that our family or friends may think is about them...and no one wants that!!

So, back to Bryan. He usually also comments on our wall posts. Only, he has no idea what we are talking about or anything, so his comments are way out in left field (I'm terrible at sayings so if that is wrong feel free to correct me). Anyway, here is a "quite lame" example of what I am talking about.....

Andrea-check it the sched isn't doing can you fix it? I tried...no luck
Kandi-it's probably there now...they post based on pacific time...I learned that one the hard way...lol
Andrea-lol..
Bryan-Yeah lol...the sched isn't doing.
Kandi-we're speaking our super secret language again and have thoroughly confused Bryan....lol
Andrea-Hey Kandi ever feel like you are being stocked by our friends hubby..
Kandi-yeah...oddly enough. I honestly just think he wishes he could decipher our **code**. I think I'll do a thing about it to post tomorrow? What do you think??
Bryan-"Hey Kandi ever feel like you are being stocked by our friends hubby.."
So are you saying that you and Kandi are shelves and that I'm stocking you both then?
Your guys code is very confusing.
Kandi-Only to you Bryan, only to you....

We intentionally don't use certain words and misspell often. This is part of keeping it a secret ya know! He cracks me up each time I read something he posts. Well, either I start giggling or roll my eyes and *sigh* at the sheer dorkiness of his statement. Either way, it's still a good thing.

Now, in Bryan's defense he is a really funny guy! Granted, he's as big a dork as my husband is, but he's an all around nice guy. You just have to love (well love may be a strong word, like may be better) like a guy who brings sarcasm to everything!

Site Promotion....

I love to read blogs. Let me rephrase that...I love to read blogs when I have time. I used to read more than I have time for now. See, I've developed this little addiction to Facebook. I'll save that post for another day though...

Now, there is something wonderful that has come from being on Facebook. I have reconnected with loads of friends!! People I loved dearly at certain points in my life and lost touch with for various reasons.

One of those people is still as sweet as I remember her! She is the little sister of one of my high school BFF's named Nikki. Well, now Nikki is all grown up and a Mom herself. She made mention of making and freezing some dinners for her family and I ask if she ever posted her recipes. She said yes! and referred me to a blog she, along with some Mom friends of hers, write.

I visited her site this evening and came away with loads of recipes I am going to try. They seem so easy to prepare and good for you too. I made sure to ask if I could post about their blog and got a Yes!!! So, let me introduce you all to Nikki and her Mom friends. Nikki also said that the Mom's group she is in meets a couple times a month and they make meals together. Then they post the recipes they made for the rest of us to enjoy as well.

If you get a moment, go and check out their site. I'm sure you will find several recipes that will tempt your taste buds as well!!!