I'm going to post a very self centered post today. Honestly, it's just to see if anyone else ever feels like this or if I need to seek professional help!
Do you ever take a step back once in a while and say, where in the world did I go? I do from time to time. It never makes me sad, angry or even envious of anything. I just sometimes look at my life right now, in this time and think...wow...what happened?
This is Chuck and me, 3 months into dating.
First off, I've been with Chuck for almost 11 years. We've been married for 7, but dated for almost 4 years. When we met we were both undergrads at a wonderful college (in my less than humble opinion that is). In NO WAY did I think he was the "one" when I met him. Now, 11 years later we're married, have 3 great kids and 2 very spoiled cats!
Secondly, I've always been strong willed and opinionated..ask Andrea, she'll tell ya! When I started college the last thing on my mind was an Mrs. degree. Fate had other plans I guess. I had no idea that 2 1/2 years into studying Athletic Training that I would switch to a Pre-K degree program. I was also clueless to the fact that after finishing my Pre-K degree that I would continue on and be working toward a Social Work degree. Sadly, I didn't finish my Social Work degree. Life happened. More specifically 2 kids. I fondly back and think, can I go back and finish the 13 credits to get the degree (which is a semester)? Sure, I could...BUT...my kiddies are small and I kind of like hanging out with them and not having the stress of school work. I know I'll finish someday. I'm just not sure when that someday will be.
Lastly, I miss being the boss. All that leadership I learned in college combined with a knack for retail and bam! I was a manager. Sure, it was middle management. Sure, it was "just" retail, but I LOVED IT! I truly enjoyed my job. I formed long standing friendships with the people I managed and the ones who managed me. I learned a LOT about drugs (I worked in a Pharmacy). Knowledge that has helped tremendously since having kids!! Every once in a while I look at it and think, wow, that 7-4 gig wasn't too bad when placed up against the 24 hour Mommy clock. Then, a little hand tugs my pants and I remember exactly why I chose to walk away!
So, in a quick snapshot, this is the person Kandi "used to be". Someday I may resemble her again. I will probably have more wisdom and put up with a lot less junk than before though. Who knows...
The one thing that I know is that who I am right now is a Mom, wife and all around crazy person most days. I'm happy with this person. This is who I am and I wouldn't change anything!!
LOL. I think we all look back and go WOW what happened to that person. Not just emotionally but physically. LOL. I don't think that person is lost I still see the old you in you. You like the rest of us has been tweeked for the better. I also think if I was that same person where would I be. To be honest I don't like where I would be if I had stayed the same. I personally will keep the husband that hides in his bat cave who bugs the piss out of me when he talks to much, but I love just the same I will keep my 3 almost 4 kids that when they are sick act like they have been possessed. I will keep the dogs that look at me and bark. I will keep the kisses just because they missed me while I was out grocery shopping or the phone call asking me when I am going to be home because they miss me when I had only been gone 15 min. I will keep it all. I have no problems saying goodbye to the beer drinking bar hopping meeting strange people days. Or the brokend bones from work.
ReplyDeletehahaha. I totally skipped the bar hopping days. Maybe on purpose. I don't miss those at all! Yeah, I'll keep my man cave hiding hubby and 3 spoiled kids too. I'm much happier now than I was in the past. Not nearly as much stress!! I really don't miss the deadline, ordering, gotta get stuff finalized at work stress at all...
ReplyDeleteWhat I do miss though, is the daily adult interaction...lol. Sometimes chatting with a 4,3,and 2 year old just doesn't cut it...haha.
oh pickles. I don't like it when I forget to log in and then it posts anonymous...That last one was me..
ReplyDelete